I'm actually so proud of how far
I've come over the last couple of years, and the last year in particular. It
feels incredibly good to be able to say a big stuff you to everyone who thought
I would be back on Scilly within a month and dropping out of uni!
When I did go back at Easter for a
visit I found myself trying to reassure everyone that I'm really not lying, I
really am happy in London!
For those of you who don't know the
background story, I started suffering with panic attacks when I was at college,
it made everything difficult and I really struggled with being away. So much so
that when the first year of my course finished I decided not to enrol for the
second year. Instead I went back to Scilly and managed to get an apprenticeship
at the Council. During all of this it made things which I used to love doing, a
massive challenge. Even going to the shops would bring on a panic attack. It's
fair to say that the person that came back from college wasn't the same one
that left. I came back a nervous wreck, the only plus side being that I lost a
lot of weight and was probably the thinnest I've ever been! It took a lot of
encouragement for me to get help for my panic attacks, but finally I made an
appointment to see a counsellor and also started getting hypnotherapy. I can't
explain how much those steps changed me! Over time I started feeling more like
me, my panic attacks reduced and I felt confident enough to do new things.
That's when the move to London came
into play. My boyfriend was already in his first year at uni and for a long
time we both thought it would mean 3 years apart, until I literally woke up one
day and decided I wanted to go...and how glad I am I did! I'm not going to
pretend like it's been a walk in the park, the month before I left was a really
nervous time for me, and I was constantly worried about how I would cope.
On my first day of uni I felt so
sick and nervous I could barely say a word to anyone, and yet I got through it,
and during the process I've made some amazing people, who are now friends and
I'm studying something that in so passionate about!
I still get the occasional panic
attack but to be honest most of the time I forget about them.
So I just want to reassure you,
once more that yes, I really really am happy in London, I don't want to come
back to Scilly, and actually I'm a little bit sad about this year coming to an
end! But I'm also so excited about what the future has in store for me!
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